Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
