I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
