in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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