you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
