my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
