ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
