I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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