that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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