I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
