I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
