i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
