My entire life is one complicated drinking game
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
