if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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