I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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