Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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