am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
