Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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