I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
