Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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