There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
