I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
