There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
