She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
