I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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