it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
operation have a gay friend backfired
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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