quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
