sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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