There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
