You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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