She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
