Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
operation harelip BJ is a go
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
