U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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