Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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