You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
