I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
