i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
