Already got asked if we're dating
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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