it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
