Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
