You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
