While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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