**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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