Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
