you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
