Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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