their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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