we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
