don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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