We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
