After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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