is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Someone shit on the floor
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
