You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
